How To Build Confidence - My Journey & Top 3 Tips
Hello hello wonderful people,
It’s so lovely to see you here!
I am super grateful you are spending some of your precious time and energy with me today.
I’m Vari – Courage & Career Coach, living in Melbourne and working with amazing clients around the world.
Empowering women ready for a new career chapter.
The confidence, mindset & motivation to live your dream.
So why am I talking about confidence? It's something I have been chatting to a lot of people about. So many women - incredible, talented, successful, beautiful women - who don't feel confident in themselves, and who wish they could build some more confidence.
The women I have connected with see me as a super confident person, and asked for my advice and tips on building confidence.
Why am I so confident? I have done a lot of work on my self love, self care and self belief and feel very secure in myself.
This post is all about self belief and confidence, if you are working on self love and self care - check out my post on this here.
Now, let's start with what confidence is, dive into my journey, and discuss my top 3 tips.
I'm so excited to share this with you, and I would love to see your journey to confidence too - tag me as you share your milestones.
What Is Confidence?
Let's start at the very beginning (cause it's a very good place to start...love me a musical), the origins of the word confidence.
Confidence originates from the Latin 'confidere' which means 'have full trust'.
This is confidence to me - having full trust in yourself, your intuition, your goals, your feelings and your actions.
Confidence is being secure in yourself. Believing in yourself.
How Did I Build My Self Belief and Confidence?
My profile has Self Belief in the 'unrealised strengths' area - meaning I had self belief but I was not putting it into action often.
The report suggested that in order to build self belief I ask myself:
"What I would do if I was 10% more confident?"
What a fantastic question. 10% doesn't seem like much right? Totally achievable.
And I promised myself to put it to good use.
For example, at an event surrounded by incredible people - what would 10% more confident Vari do?
She would talk to those people, introduce herself and start a conversation.
So I did.
How would 10% more confident me approach my new - and *gulp* national - role?
She would remain calm and poised, relax and be herself and let her personality shine through in everything she does.
So I did.
How would 10% more confident me respond to a global pandemic and experiencing redundancy?
She would speak up and express what she wants, follow her dreams and start her own business.
So I did.
And here we are!!!
Take it one step at a time.
Becoming a confident, sparkly, secure, self loving person can seem like a big jump - but confidence is like a muscle, keep using it and it will grow, take one small step at a time.
What would super confident you do?
For me this year, it was show up on video on social media - it seemed like such a big deal.
I saw other people showing up, and what was the worst that could happen? Maybe people wouldn't enjoy the video. That's it. And in the world of stories on social media - it would be gone in 24 hours anyway.
So I did! Not only did it feel good, but people were saying nice things! YAY.
Once I had shown up once, taken that first step - it was so much easier to take the next step, and show up again.
I was so proud of myself, and feeling so confident. I was sure my action - showing up on socials - was entertaining and inspiring others, which was the goal.
All helping me trust myself and build confidence.
In fact, so much so that I have just started a 30 day video challenge on LinkedIn - posting a video (and not one which will disappear after 24 hours - eek!) every day for 30 days.
And the proof it's working? In my new Strengths Profile my 'self belief' is now a realised strength - meaning it's a strength which I know I have, which I use often and which energises me. YES.
How proud 2019 me would be of 2020 me!
Would you love to build this self belief and confidence too? Here are my top 3 tips.
1 - You Are Already A Confident Person
We tend to think of confidence as something only some of us possess. But we are all confident some time, can you think of a time and a place you felt secure and confident in yourself?
When you were relaxed, secure in yourself and feeling on top of the world? Maybe a holiday with family, maybe an event surrounded by things and people you love, maybe this morning as you sat in the sun and sipped your coffee.
You've thought of an example, or 2 or 3, where you felt confident right?
There you are, you are a confident person.
Now, the next step is to figure out why you were feeling so good in each situation.
What made you feel so good and confident?
And how could you recreate this in situations where you feel less confident?
2 - What Would Confident You Do?
When people wish to become more confident, they usually have a goal in mind - something they wish to do, which would take confidence.
So let's figure out what that is for you - with a few quick fire questions.
If I was more confident I would....
If I was more confident I would feel...
The most confident, secure, self loving version of me is...
Great, now we have some clarity on your goal in building more confidence.
We can now apply the question from above - what would 10% more confident you do?
They would take steps towards the goals, actions and feelings from your answers to these questions.
What's the first step?
Could you do it today?
Yes you can.
You got this.
3 - Who Is Your Confidence Role Model?
Who is the person, or people, who is the epitome of confidence to you?
Who do you look at, and think "yes, confident me would be like them"?
Whoever that person is, they have been on a confidence journey too.
Get to know them - reach out, send them a message, grab a coffee, follow them on social media, read everything you can about them.
Absolutely everyone has doubts, works on believing in themselves, and has ups and downs when it comes to confidence,
And just like you are now, those super confident inspiring people once thought - should I do this? Can I do this?
Oprah wondered if she should start a talk show.
Beyoncé wondered if she should embark on a solo career.
Michelle Obama wondered if she should start a podcast.
Brene Brown wondered if she should write a book.
And you are wondering if you....
You can do it. You have to.
There are others out there waiting to be inspired and empowered by the actions of confident you.
You got this.
Yes You Can
How are you feeling now?
Ready to build confidence?
I am so pleased for you beautiful.
Would you love a little help? A supportive inspiring community to empower you to take that first step?
Would you love to build confidence, and become an inspiration to others?
Of course you are.
Thank you beautiful people for spending your time and energy with me here today.
I would love to know your thoughts – let’s connect & chat!
With love, Vari.